


Shadow

by pillowcreek



Category: The Bridge (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Drinking, F/F, First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Nonbinary Roger Kaplan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-02-23 19:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13197072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pillowcreek/pseuds/pillowcreek
Summary: Etta's roommate moves out suddenly, leaving her desperate to find a new one before school starts back up again. Luckily, Kate is equally as desperate to find a place to live. But as time passes, Kate begins to wonder whether everything is as it first seemed. And, whether she can fix it before it's too late.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a few months ago, but I still really liked it upon reread, so I've decided to turn it into an actual fic! Hope you enjoy!

The girl who opened the door to the apartment was entirely too cute and Kate’s too gay not to admit that her first thought was _oh fuck no I can’t live with her she’s too cute._ The girl gave her a wide smile. 

“You’re Kate, right?” 

_Shit, even her voice is cute._

“Yeah. It was Etta, right?” 

“Mmhm.” She let her in. “You were looking for the full eight months, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Thank god, I’ve been getting so many four month requests, I didn’t think anyone would want the full eight. I mean, four’s better than nothing, but…” 

“You don’t really want someone moving in and out so quickly. Also moving out during winter break? Gross.” 

“Exactly. So here’s where your room would be.” Etta opened the door to the first bedroom. It was still filled with furniture and Kate gave Etta a questioning look. She huffed. “I know. My roommate kind of ghosted me, so I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with her shit. Does she want it? Fuck if I know!” 

Kate laughed lightly. “Sounds like she was a real catch.” 

Etta sighed. “She was pretty great. But-“ she clapped her hands- “she’s gone now and her stuff will be too if you end up wanting the place!” 

“Have you gotten any offers yet?” she asked as Etta showed her the bathroom. 

“Not yet. A lot of people are finding cheaper places or end up finding a place with friends. You’re kind of my last hope here. I mean, no pressure!” she said quickly before groaning and burying her face in her hands. “God, I must sound so fucked up. I’m sorry.” 

“You’re fine,” Kate said. “I get it. You’re sort of my last hope too.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Turns out there’s not too many people looking for a roommate two days before school begins.” 

“So we’re both disasters.” Etta gasped dramatically. “Look, we have so much in common already! This’ll be great!” 

Kate laughed. “Friendship founded on a mutual inability to function. Sounds great.” 

“Hey, it’s how all of my other friendships formed,” she said. “Kitchen next?” 

“Sure.” Kate followed Etta back down the hall. “So did your roommate actually ghost you?” 

“Yep. Told me she handed in her sixty days notice and then left the next day with all her stuff.” Etta frowned sadly. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” 

Kate was suddenly overcome with the urge to hunt down this girl whose name she didn’t even know and yell at her for a good half-hour. “And you haven’t heard from her since?” 

“Nope. We’ve been trying to get in contact with her all summer, but-“ she shrugged- “guess she just doesn’t want to be found.” 

“We?” 

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Me and my friends. All four of us lived together last year but then Bertrand and Roger started dating and now they’re all gross and nobody wants to be around that more than necessary.” 

Kate laughed. “Lots of PDA?” 

“Sort of. It’s hard to explain. You’ll see if you move in,” Etta said. 

“They’re around a lot?” 

“Not a ton. I mean we hang out here sometimes, but I can always go over to their place.” 

“Oh sorry! That wasn’t meant to be a ‘don’t have your friends over’ thing, I was just-“ 

Etta smiled at her. “I know. And it’s fine. But yeah. Bertrand’s the best, Roger’s the worst. You get used to them.” 

“Sounds like a fun time.” 

Etta looked at Kate hopefully. “So? What do you think?” 

“Well you’ve definitely sold me on wanting to be friends with you. Guess I’ll just have to see if I like the apartment as much as I like you when I move in,” Kate said. 

Etta beamed. “Oh good! I was hoping you’d say that!” 

“One last question though,” Kate said. She pointed at the large aquarium in the corner of the living room where a goldfish was swimming around happily. “Who is that and will they be offended if I ever eat fish?” 

Etta laughed and Kate felt her gay levels double. “That’s Bob. And I think he could probably find it in himself to forgive you. But only if you’re really nice to him and give him treats afterwards.” 

“Then I think we’ve got ourselves a deal.” 

 

 

They would end up selling the roommate’s furniture and using the money to spoil the heck out of Bob.


	2. Chapter 2

The first week in the apartment was largely uneventful. Etta was sweet and a good roommate, not too loud or messy, hadn’t turned out to be a serial killer who wanted to wear Kate’s face. It was going well. 

Things became eventful Saturday when the front door slammed open and three very loud college students burst in, all talking over each other. 

“I didn’t say that you should run over the old lady to get the last bag of carrots, I said you should nudge her out of the way with the cart! There’s a difference!” Etta said. 

“It’s basically the same thing! And you tried to take the cart from me! That shows intent!” A male voice that Kate had never heard before said. 

“Guys, it’s fine, the lady wasn’t hurt! Can we stop talking about it now?” Another unknown male voice said. 

“She still got the carrots!” Etta said. 

“You still got some carrots!” The first voice said. 

“The weird organic ones! Those ones taste awful!” 

“Isn’t organic how food’s supposed to taste?” The second voice asked. 

“No! Organic is overpriced cow turds!” 

“Oh my gosh, it literally tastes the same once it’s cooked. You can’t tell the difference,” said the first voice. 

“I’ll know there’s one!” 

Kate poked her head out of her room. The three people in the hallway immediately shut up and looked over at the sound of her door opening. Etta looked embarrassed while the two boys she was with looked curious. 

“Sorry, were you sleeping?” Etta asked. 

“What? Oh!” Kate tugged on her messy ponytail self-consciously. “I was just doing some studying. I hadn’t bothered getting dressed yet.” 

“You must be Kate!” One of the boys - the owner of the second voice - said. He was tall and broad shouldered, with dark curls and a bright smile. “Sorry if we bothered you!” 

“No, it’s fine. I think I was in need of a break.” She leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed. “You must be Etta’s friends. Let me guess… Bertrand?” 

“Bertie. How’d you know?” he asked, surprised. 

She pointed at the single bag of groceries he was carrying. “They’ve both got three. I’m assuming you’re the only one they both like enough to get away with it.” 

“I open the doors,” he said. 

“Nah, she’s got a point,” Etta said. “I’d kill Roger if he tried that, even if he opened the doors for me.” 

“And you’d be walking home if you tried it,” the second boy said. 

“You must be Roger,” Kate said. 

He glanced over at her. “Nice to meet you.” 

“You too. Find everything you needed?” she asked Etta. 

She nodded. “I hope you don’t mind if we take up the kitchen for the next couple of hours.” 

“Go ahead. What are you making?” 

“Food for the next couple of weeks.” 

Kate raised her eyebrows. “What?” 

“Etta has trouble feeding herself once school starts,” Bertie explained. “We come over and help her cook a whole bunch of food in one afternoon so that all she has to do is heat it up.” 

“That way I don’t live off of microwave hot dogs!” Etta said brightly. 

“Sounds like a pretty good deal,” Kate said. 

“If you pay us for the food, we can do the same for you,” Roger offered. 

“I think I’ll be okay, thanks. I like cooking every day.” 

Etta muttered something to Bertie and he laughed. Roger gave them a sharp glare. 

“What?” Kate asked. 

“It’s mentally ill humour, don’t worry about it,” Etta said, heading into the kitchen. Bertie followed after her and Kate shot Roger a confused look. 

“Etta has depression,” he said. “That’s why she has trouble feeding herself. Also she doesn’t know what a vegetable is.” 

“I heard that!” Etta yelled from the kitchen. “A vegetable is a seedless fruit!” 

“Can you name one?” he yelled back. 

“A carrot! Like the ones you were too selfish to get for me!” 

“Hitting someone with a shopping cart is assault! And she was eighty-five!” 

“What, you wouldn’t go to jail for me?” 

“Not over something as small as getting you carrots!” 

“So you don’t want me to eat vegetables?” 

“Carrots aren’t the only vegetable!” 

Kate chuckled to herself as she helped Roger carry his bags into the kitchen. “Do they always yell at each other?” she whispered to Bertie. 

He rolled his eyes. “Constantly. Living with them was a nightmare.” 

“Oh really? Because I heard you two were the nightmare,” she said, amused. 

He blushed. “Etta just says that because she doesn’t have a partner. She’ll be twenty times grosser than us. She’s just jealous.” 

“Well I’ll look forward to that then.” 

“Green beans are disgusting abominations and you know it!” Etta yelled loudly and Roger lifted her onto the kitchen counter, rolling his eyes. 

“Alright child, time to shut up and let us make you your food,” he said. 

“I’m not a child!” 

“You refuse to eat vegetables, what else could you be?” 

“A sane human being.” 

“What are you guys making?” Kate asked, trying to distract them. 

“Chili, chicken, steamed vegetables, meatloaf, lasagna, soup, and rice,” Bertie said, ticking the dishes off on his fingers. 

“Sounds delicious. Want some help?” 

“Are you sure?” Etta asked. “I mean, you don’t have to… I’m sure you’ve got a lot of work to do.” 

“No, I’d love to help out! Besides, I want to get to know your friends,” she said, elbowing Roger in the ribs. He grunted. 

“Then sure! It’ll be fun!” 

“You only say that because you don’t do any of the cooking,” Bertie said. 

“Hey, that’s not my choice,” Etta said indignantly. “Roger banned me after I set the dishtowel on fire, remember? I’d love to start cooking again if he’d let me!” 

“You were banned from cooking?” Kate asked, amused. 

“We both were,” Bertie said. “My ban’s been lifted, but for a while only Roger was allowed to cook. Well, and-“ He glanced at Etta, who was staring at the floor. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Roger said, his voice cold. “Point is, the ban still stands. Or at least all heat and knife related cooking. You can prep the lasagna.” 

Etta squeaked happily and hopped down from the counter. “Sweet! Kate, want to help me out with it? I need someone to prep the veggies.” 

“Sure,” she said. 

The two of them went out to the dining room table, leaving the boys to work on preparing the chili in the kitchen. Kate got to work chopping up carrots while Etta layered lasagna noodles in the pan. 

“So…” Kate began awkwardly. Etta glanced up at her. “How long have you been…?” 

“Depressed?” Etta filled in, smiling wryly. “It’s okay, you can say the word. Since I was a teenager. Maybe twelve? Thirteen? Something like that. It’s been a while.” 

“Is it bad?” 

“Not usually. It got worse since my roommate left. Bertrand and Roger have been trying to help out, but it’s still been rough. It’s a lot harder to motivate yourself to clean the bathroom when there’s no one else who cares if it’s clean and getting out of bed is hard enough.” 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Kate asked. 

“Not really,” she said. “I take meds for it, and I can usually get by alright so long as I’ve got a support system in place. The summer’s just rough cause I’m out of counselling.” 

“What? Why?” 

“They close the services at the university over the summer and I can’t afford to pay for a therapist. Especially not while I was trying to pay full rent.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” Kate said, feeling the hot flush of anger creep up her neck. 

Etta shrugged. “It’s over now though. I’ll be back in therapy next week. It’s just a matter of balancing schoolwork and life. That’s why they’re doing this. Roger used to cook for us back at the house, so it was easier to focus on school and not worry about having the energy for both school and food. We just kind of… adapted it.” 

“They seem like good friends.” 

“They’re the best. Even if Roger’s kind of an asshole.” She glanced up at Kate. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that they were coming over.” 

“It’s fine. I needed the break from studying.” 

“It completely slipped my mind. I’ll let you know next time. I promise,” she said, her gaze focused intensely on the noodles.

“Etta.” Kate reached over and squeezed her hand. She looked back up at her. “I promise it’s fine. I really don’t mind.” 

Etta smiled slightly. “Alright. Thanks.” 

“Now, how would you like these carrots?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr @pillowcreeks


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for mentions of transphobia

Saturdays in university were interesting. You spent all day studying, and then you reached the evening and wanted to do nothing but lie in bed and eat popcorn. Except you also felt the urge to go out and get drunk off your ass because it’s university and that’s what you’re expected to do and also vodka sounded so good after studying anatomy all day. Like, so good. 

Kate rolled onto her stomach and tried to decide whether she had money to spend on vodka. On one hand, vodka. On the other hand, food and tuition. She was just beginning to lean slightly more towards the responsible food and tuition hand when she heard Etta cursing from the bathroom. 

Kate stuck her head out of her bedroom. “You okay in there?” 

Etta growled angrily. “I’m fine! Just trying not to stab myself in the eye! Ow!” 

“I’m sorry, what?” She walked over to the bathroom. Etta was bent over the sink, trying to apply eyeliner and failing miserably. “Ah. Makeup.” 

“I don’t understand how people do this every day. I’ve stabbed myself at least seventeen times now,” Etta said, slamming the pen down on the counter with an annoyed huff. 

“Are you going out?” 

“Yeah. Bertrand found this gay bar online and we’re going to check it out.” 

“Oh, nice. You going to pick up lots of cute girls?” Kate teased. 

Etta laughed. “Doubtful. My flirting is atrocious. I will, however, be trying to get Roger as drunk as possible. Whenever he gets drunk he gets super happy and it’s hilarious.” 

“That sounds incredible.” 

“It is. Hey, do you want to come? I’m sure they won’t mind.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude.” 

“No, it’s totally fine! It’ll be nice not to be third wheeling it for a change.” 

“At least they’re not all gross and PDA-y. It could be worse,” Kate pointed out. 

Etta groaned. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” 

“Do you want some help with your makeup?” she asked. 

Etta’s cheeks flushed. “Yeah. Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.” 

Kate put the toilet cover down. “Sit.” Etta obeyed and Kate picked up the discarded eyeliner pen. “Close your eyes.” 

She gently ran the pen along the edge of Etta’s eyelid. Etta flinched when the pen touched her. 

“Don’t worry,” Kate said. “It’s not going to hurt you.” 

“Really? Tell that to my sore eye,” Etta muttered. 

Kate laughed. “Etta’s sore eye, the pen will not hurt you.” 

Etta laughed and the eyeliner went up to her eyebrow. “Shit!” 

“That’s your own fault,” Kate said, still laughing. 

“You’re the one who made me laugh! You know I laugh with my whole body!” 

“Fine, I’ll take the blame. This time.” She carefully wiped the makeup off of Etta and resumed drawing the line. Etta took a shaky breath and Kate smiled. “It’ll be fine. You’ve got one eye done.” 

She sighed lightly, her breath gently grazing Kate’s cheek. “Okay. Okay, do it.” 

“Mmmmm… And we’re done!” Kate pulled back, admiring her handy work. Etta opened her eyes slowly, still looking shaky but also a little surprised. 

“Okay, that wasn’t so bad,” she said. 

“Take a look!” 

Etta looked at herself in the mirror and grinned. “It looks awesome! Thanks, Kate!” 

“No problem. Why do you even have eyeliner if you can’t put it on?” 

“I can put it on, it just takes me a few tries. And a lot of cursing.” 

Kate laughed. “Whatever floats your boat.” 

Etta blushed. “Oh… Shut up. Just go get dressed, will you?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

* * *

“I thought you said this was a bar,” Roger yelled to be heard over the blaring music. 

“I said it was a gay bar!” Bertie yelled back. “Loud music is implied!” 

“Why can’t there be a gay bar that’s quiet and doesn’t smell like sex?” 

Bertie patted his shoulder soothingly before pointing excitedly across the room. “Open table!” 

The four of them pushed their way across the room to collapse into the tall dining chairs stationed around the table. Etta nearly fell into Kate trying to get onto hers. 

“Need some help?” Bertie teased. 

Etta stuck her tongue out at him and hoisted herself onto the chair. “I got there eventually.” 

“Shortie,” he teased. 

“I’m not that short,” Etta said. 

“Shut up and drink your alcohol,” Roger said, pushing her drink towards her. 

Etta drained half her glass in one gulp. “I can’t believe you all actually like the taste of beer. What kind of gays are you?” 

“Wait, since when do gay people not like beer?” Bertie asked. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure beer is the most lesbian thing ever,” Kate said. 

“Maybe you’re the bad gay.” 

“Good thing I’m not gay then,” Etta said. 

“Hi there.” A man in a plaid shirt leaned against their table, smiling widely. “How are y’all doing tonight?” 

“We’re doing okay,” Etta said, one eyebrow cocked suspiciously. 

“My name’s Trent, I use he/him. What about all of you?” 

“I’m going to get us more drinks,” Roger said, hopping down from his chair and starting towards the bar. Kate shot Bertie a confused look. He was frowning after Roger. 

“I’ll check on him,” Kate said quietly to him. 

She found Roger leaning against the side of the bar, showing no indication that he was trying to order drinks. Which made sense, seeing as he had only had a sip of his beer, and the rest of them were barely halfway through their own. 

“You okay?” Kate asked. 

Roger looked over. “What? Oh, yeah, fine.” 

“Really? Because you practically ran away from the table, and I didn’t notice anything about Trent that seemed particularly awful. Is he an ex who doesn’t recognize you or something?” 

“No, it’s nothing about him. It’s just…” He looked around the bar nervously, as though looking for a distraction, before finally sighing. “You’re going to think this is ridiculous.” 

“Try me.” 

“I really hate it when strangers ask for pronouns because it forces me to out myself.” 

Kate raised her eyebrows, surprised. “Oh. I didn’t know you were-“ 

“I know. I wasn’t expecting you to. Which is the other awkward thing about this.” Roger took a deep breath. “It’s just annoying because I have to choose between outing myself or being read as a cis man and it’s uncomfortable. And outing myself could be potentially dangerous. I mean, sure, cis people who ask for pronouns aren’t exactly likely to kill me, but not everyone’s great at neutral pronouns, or people using multiple sets of pronouns and-“ 

“Roger.” 

“Yeah?” 

“You’re rambling.” 

He sighed. “Sorry. Bertie’s rubbing off on me.” 

“So do you always just run away whenever someone asks about pronouns?” 

“Pretty much. Bertie always just tells them my name, and they seem happy enough with that. Most cis people don’t actually care what pronouns you use, they just want to act like they do.” 

“So which do you prefer?” Kate asked, a flash of guilt going through her as she realized that she hadn’t asked him yet.

“He or they. I know I could just tell people that I use he/him and it wouldn’t really matter, but honestly sometimes they feels better and- Sorry, rambling.” 

Kate laughed. “It’s fine, I don’t mind. You’re nowhere near as bad as Etta.” 

He groaned. “Please kill me if I ever get that bad.” 

“Aw, I think it’s kind of cute.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“So would you rather I start calling you they then?” 

“Would you mind? I’ve mentioned it to Bertie and Etta, but I don’t want them to have to make a big change, so we’re still mostly using he but-“ 

“Of course I don’t. Your comfort isn’t a problem.” 

“Thanks.” 

Kate glanced back at the table. Etta was leaning against Bertie’s shoulder, smiling widely. She looked so beautiful tonight, like an elven princess. Her hair was braided down her back, drawing attention to her sharp cheekbones and bright eyes. Kate felt the urge to draw her, even though she had no artistic talent. Next to her, Bertie was laughing at something Trent said. Trent, who had his hand very noticeably on Bertie’s upper leg. 

“Don’t look now, but I think Trent’s trying to steal your boyfriend,” Kate said. 

Roger glanced over. “What?” 

“His hand’s on his leg.” 

They smiled slightly. “Oh. Yeah, it is.” 

Kate raised her eyebrows. “You aren’t jealous?” 

“Why would I be?” 

“Some lumberjack is hitting on your boyfriend.” 

“I think they’re called bears, actually-“ 

“ _Roger._ ” 

“Why would I be jealous? Bertie’s gorgeous, obviously that guy’s going to flirt with him. Heck, half the guys in the bar will probably hit on him before the night’s done. But then the night’s done and he’s coming home with me. And those guys don’t get to see how gorgeous he’ll look later on when he’s halfway through a tub of ice cream and crying over The Notebook.” They smiled sappily at Kate. “Drunk Bertie is the cutest thing in the world. Take five kittens and you’re maybe an eighth of the way there.” 

“So I can beat out your boyfriend with 41 kittens.” Roger swore quietly under their breath. Kate laughed. “It’s nice that you don’t worry about stuff like that. Most couples are super protective of each other.” 

“Most couples are possessive. There’s a difference. Bertie’s not a possession, so I don’t treat him like one.” Bertie caught their eye across the room and winked at them. Roger laughed and ducked their head, smiling. 

“God, Etta was right. You two are disgusting,” Kate said, wrinkling her nose. 

Roger snorted. “Yeah. We are, right?” 

“It’s sweet.” 

The music changed just then and Etta bolted upright, flapping her hands excitedly. She said something to Bertie before grabbing his arm and dragging him out onto the dance floor. He followed after her, laughing, leaving a confused Trent at their table. Kate grinned. 

“They’re really good friends, huh?” she asked. 

“Yeah. That’s the one good thing to come out of this whole mess,” Roger said. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, before Etta’s old roommate moved out, they were really close. Best friends. Bertie really cared about Etta, but she never really… She cared about him, but not as much. It’s nice to see that they’re so close now. He’s a lot happier now. I mean, I feel bad for Etta,” they added quickly. “The whole thing was really hard on her. But I think she’s happier now too. At least I hope she is.” 

Kate smiled. “Yeah. I hope so too.” 

“Don’t break her heart,” Roger said suddenly. 

Kate looked over at them in surprise. They were watching her with a concerned look on their face. “What?” 

“Don’t break Etta’s heart. She’s dealt with enough this year. Don’t break her heart.” 

“I… I won’t…” Kate said, still confused. 

“Good.” Roger pushed off from the bar and headed towards the other two, calling over their shoulder as they left, “Because if you did, I would have to break your legs.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr's @pillowcreeks. Comments and feedback are appreciated. Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight tw for gore when they're talking about the horror movie

“What?” Kate looked over at her roommate, confused. 

“You heard me,” Etta said. “Take. Them. Off.” 

“What’s wrong with them?” Kate turned slowly in front of the mirror, examining the jeans she was trying on. 

“They’re white. Don’t you know you’re never supposed to wear white pants? God, I can’t believe I even let you try them on.” She pushed Kate back into the change room before anyone could see her. 

“You said I had to try coloured pants.” 

“Yeah, like red or something. Not _white._ ” 

“Alright, you pick out a suitable outfit for me then,” Kate said, laughing slightly. 

Etta grinned. “I thought you’d never ask. Stay here. Change out of those pants though!” 

She hurried back out into the store. Kate rolled her eyes, smiling. They had gone out to the mall after class one day, since Etta was in need of a new pair of runners, and she had found herself being roped into being a Barbie doll for Etta. 

“You’re taller and have better hips than me,” Etta had said as she had dragged Kate into the store. “Clothes will look completely different on you.” 

“I wouldn’t say my hips are better than yours…” Kate had said. Not that she had noticed what Etta’s hips looked like. Or thought about what they would feel like pressed against her own. Definitely not. 

“They are. And your boobs too. You look like a normal person. I look like if someone took you and squashed you down six inches.” 

“That’s not a bad thing…” 

“Ha! You admit it!” Etta had pointed at her, grinning. 

Kate rolled her eyes, smiling. “I’m just a stretched out version of you. See, it goes both ways.” 

Etta had made an obnoxious mocking noise in response to that. 

The curtain to the change room flew open. Kate yelped in surprise, then relaxed when she realized it was Etta, not some pervert. 

“Good, it’s only you,” she said with a sigh of relief. 

“Happy to see you too,” Etta said. She dumped an armful of clothes on the bench before closing the curtain, blocking them from the view of the other people in the store. Kate blushed at the sudden privacy. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been alone before - they _lived together_ \- but this felt oddly intimate. 

Etta seemed unaffected by it, ruffling through the pile of clothes that she had brought and humming under her breath. It was a song from a musical - _Wicked_ , Kate believed - and the softness of the act made Kate’s heart skip a beat in her chest. It had been doing that a lot around Etta lately. Which was mildly concerning considering that she was her roommate and therefore off limits. 

_“Don’t break her heart.”_

Had Roger known? Did they figure it out before Kate herself even knew? Was there something about how she acted around Etta? Did _Etta_ know? Surely not, otherwise she wouldn’t let herself be so close to Kate. She probably would have asked her to move out. Or maybe she liked it? Maybe she wanted Kate to flirt with her? 

Or maybe it had been completely unrelated. Etta’s last roommate had moved out unexpectedly and devastated her. Maybe all that Roger was doing was asking her not to do the same. Maybe it was that simple. 

“Okay, try these first.” She handed Kate a pair of ripped black jeans and a blue plaid button-up. She winked. “Ultimate lesbian look.” 

“You forgot the beanie,” Kate teased. 

“Of course, how could I have been so blind?” Etta said, collapsing dramatically onto the bench. She put the back of her hand to her forehead. “I’m so sorry to have failed you like this.” 

“I’ll try to find it in my heart to forgive you.” 

“Go ahead, try it on!” 

Kate blushed, realizing that Etta had no intention of leaving the change room. “Yeah. Right.” 

She pulled off her shirt. Etta turned bright red and closed her eyes. “Right! Sorry.” 

Kate laughed nervously. “It’s fine…” 

Etta kept her eyes closed as she talked. “I’m just… used to shopping with…” 

“Your old roommate?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“Bringing up bad memories.” 

“Those aren’t your fault,” Etta said. “If you want to blame someone, blame her. You’ve done nothing wrong.” 

Kate couldn’t help but feel like she had done something wrong anyways. Etta’s shoulders had drooped forwards and her smile had disappeared. Kate tried to think of something she could do to bring it back. 

“Want to get food after this?” she asked. 

The corner of Etta’s mouth twitched up in a small smile. “Yeah. Sure.” 

Not quite there yet. But an improvement nonetheless. Kate finished putting on the jeans. “Okay, how do I look?” 

Etta opened her eyes and gave her a proper smile. “Very gay.” 

“That’s the goal. Think a braid and a beanie would add to the outfit, or would that be too much raw lesbian power?” 

“Is there such a thing as raw lesbian power?” 

“I doubt it.” Kate nudged Etta’s leg with her foot. “Okay, close your eyes again.” 

“Wait! I’ve got an idea. Don’t change!” She slipped out of the change room, brushing lightly against Kate as she left. Kate’s heart stuttered in her chest and her hands got clammy. 

 _It’s just a touch,_ she scolded herself. _And barely even that. Calm. Down._

Etta returned a minute later holding a black vest. “This’ll add to the lesbian aesthetic,” she said. 

Kate pulled it on but before she had the chance to begin doing up the buttons, Etta was already there. She did them up slowly and carefully, her fingers brushing lightly against her abdomen. Kate felt a tug deep in her gut and she took a shaky breath. 

 _Barely touching,_ she reminded herself. 

“There,” Etta said, taking a step back. “Now you’re the ultimate lesbian.” 

“That sounds like a great superhero name. Fighting the patriarchy with the power of loving girls,” Kate joked. 

“I’d root for her.” 

They stayed in the store for a while longer, Kate patiently allowing Etta to dress her up in increasingly ridiculous outfits. She wasn’t sure butterfly-printed tights, an orange blouse, and a pinstriped blazer looked good together, but Etta was happy, so she was happy. 

“Time for food?” Etta asked, her eyes closed while Kate changed back into her own clothes. 

“Sure, what do you have in mind?” Kate asked, folding the tights for reshelving. 

“There’s a popcorn place here that has a bunch of different flavours. I dreamt about their dill one last night. It’s sooooo good,” she said, practically drooling. 

Kate laughed. “You had me at popcorn.” 

Etta had undersold the popcorn. There were so many different flavours that Kate had to walk around the kiosk to view them all, and she spent five minutes debating between caramel corn and jalapeño while Etta munched on her dill popcorn beside her. She finally settled on jalapeño, resolving that caramel corn was common enough that she could easily find it if she was craving some. 

“You should have gone with Superkid,” Etta said as they walked through the mall, looking at the storefronts. “Superkid kicks ass.” 

“Superkid isn’t a flavour,” Kate said. 

“You’re right, it’s an experience.” 

Kate laughed. “I’ve never understood why kids love that so much. It just tastes like food colouring.” 

“Yeah, but food colouring’s like cocaine to kids,” Etta said. “Ugh, is it just me, or is this popcorn really making you want to go see a movie?” 

“Totally.” 

They headed to the theatre within the mall and bought two tickets for the latest horror movie. “I’ve been trying to talk Bertie into going to see it with me, but he looks like he’s about to cry whenever I bring it up,” Etta said. 

“Aw, poor Bertie,” Kate said, not really feeling all that sorry for him. Bertie’s terror at the prospect of horror movies meant that she got to spend two hours in a dark room sitting next to Etta. Which sounded a little pathetic in her head - _wow, I get to sit in the dark with a cute girl, not looking at her and watching someone get their guts ripped out, so romantic_ \- but was definitely not pathetic. She wasn’t lovesick. She had this crush completely under control. 

“Hey Kate, we should buy some arcade tokens after the movie. I wanna kick your ass at DDR!” 

Completely under control. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! As always, comments are appreciated and you can find me on tumblr @pillowcreeks

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr @thenightcrowd


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